Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
