at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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