when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
