Porn is love you can see.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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