I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
