please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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