She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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