At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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