All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
