put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
