Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
