Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
