I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
