ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
