i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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