I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
