just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
