And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
