Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
