Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish I only lived at night.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
MIDGETS
????
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
