there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
