I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
