I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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