No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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