I'm going to jail i love you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
