She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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