life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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