Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
