You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
