just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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