try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
