GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
