I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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