i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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