we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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