If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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