well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
