On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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