O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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