no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
