i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
