I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
