Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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