everyone is single if you try hard enough
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
