I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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