So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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