i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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