i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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