We named our party play list daddy issues
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
