I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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